Love and attachment: two words that are frequently used together and sometimes even interchangeably. But is there a difference between these two! And if the love is real and worth fighting for, how do we release attachment and create healthy and liberated loving relationships. Here are seven ways to differentiate between love and attachment.
• Love is selfless, attachment is self-centered
When you are in love, you focus on making the other person happy. you are always thinking of ways to make sure that your partner feels loved and fulfilled. You don't emotionally blackmail your partner, try to manipulate them, or seek to dominate the relationship.
When you are merely attached to someone, you are focused upon the ways in which they can make you happy. You become heavily dependent upon your partner and may even try to control him or her to avoid abandonment.
• There is no insecurity in love
Text him/her to see if he/she replies back immediately. If your partner fails to get back immediately or if you feel insecure, you may be more into the attachment phase than love. In true love, there is no room for any insecurity.
• Love is freeing, attachment is possessive
When you are in love, you don't need to see the person to feel safe. You don't need to be with this person to understand how he or she feels. You never wonder about your love's affection and never get jealous.
When it's just attachment, you never have a true hold on your partner's feelings because the only time you feel safe is when you are with him or her. When you are apart, you can't help but wonder what, or who, he or she is doing.
• Love is liberating, attachment is controlling
Mutual love allows you to be your true self. Your partner encourages you to be who you genuinely are and you won't be afraid to expose your weaknesses. Love is never controlling. In actuality, love transcends control.
Your partner's ability to accept you for who you are and encourage you to pursue your dreams allows you to let go of the need to control their life. Attachment, on the other hand, tends to fuel controlling behavior. You may discourage your partner from spending time with their friends, play mind games, or put an unhealthy level of focus on pleasing them.
You may even try to manipulate them into staying with you regardless of their feelings.
• Love is selfless, attachment is self-centered
When you are in love, you focus on making the other person happy. you are always thinking of ways to make sure that your partner feels loved and fulfilled. You don't emotionally blackmail your partner, try to manipulate them, or seek to dominate the relationship.
When you are merely attached to someone, you are focused upon the ways in which they can make you happy. You become heavily dependent upon your partner and may even try to control him or her to avoid abandonment.
• There is no insecurity in love
Text him/her to see if he/she replies back immediately. If your partner fails to get back immediately or if you feel insecure, you may be more into the attachment phase than love. In true love, there is no room for any insecurity.
• Love is freeing, attachment is possessive
When you are in love, you don't need to see the person to feel safe. You don't need to be with this person to understand how he or she feels. You never wonder about your love's affection and never get jealous.
When it's just attachment, you never have a true hold on your partner's feelings because the only time you feel safe is when you are with him or her. When you are apart, you can't help but wonder what, or who, he or she is doing.
• Love is liberating, attachment is controlling
Mutual love allows you to be your true self. Your partner encourages you to be who you genuinely are and you won't be afraid to expose your weaknesses. Love is never controlling. In actuality, love transcends control.
Your partner's ability to accept you for who you are and encourage you to pursue your dreams allows you to let go of the need to control their life. Attachment, on the other hand, tends to fuel controlling behavior. You may discourage your partner from spending time with their friends, play mind games, or put an unhealthy level of focus on pleasing them.
You may even try to manipulate them into staying with you regardless of their feelings.
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